The Washington Three: Where we accept minorities of all ages

"Wait, what? She's seventeen? Is that even legal?"

"Yeah! It's consensual!"

The Half and Seven Rule (capitalized because, yes, it is that legit): Take your age, divide it by two, and add seven. The remaining number is the minimum age for a girl you can date. Is Biebers vindicated? Numerically, yes. But Danza and Hunter are bound to disagree.

Minority Girls 1 and 2 have an average age of 18 and one month, and that's not even our biggest issue. What is, you ask? We might all be evicted after we fail a cleaning check so abominably that even our money-hoarding apartment complex can't handle our residency. I'm running on five hours of sleep, I have class in seven minutes, and I'm fairly certain that taking a girl to see Harry Potter at midnight might be the least romantic idea I've ever had. Does that bother me? Of course. Enough not to do it? Probably not.

Oh yes.

I had the strangest dream that this little leopard gecko guy was my little buddy who would follow me around everywhere. He was like that little fairy in those final fantasy games who just chilled with you and gave you advice when you needed it. I wish this was true. and that animals could talk, BECAUSE MY DOGS ARE FRIGGIN ADORABLE AND IM SURE THEYD HAVE AWESOME THINGS TO SAY... SCREW ANYONE WHO DISAGREES.

I woke up this morning with some strange feeling in my stomach. Almost like butterflies, but a little less pleasant. Kind of feels like my intestines are being twisted around with a pitchfork...

But that must mean one of two things- Either I missed a big assignment... or worse...

...Cleaning inspections.

Didn't we just have one of these? I just don't want to be the only one at the apartment when that friggin dragon lady comes. Sike, she was way nice, BUT STILL. I had to walk along with her during the entire inspection to make sure everything was the way that she wanted.... I feel like we just should not clean the entire place at all and see what her reaction is. Wait no, that's a terrible idea, I don't feel like paying some maid to come over and doing a half-arsed, mediocre cleaning job. Either way, I'm not looking foward to coming home and cleaning that toilet...\

I think we need some fans of this page.

ALL HAIL KTULU- DEFEATER OF THE BEIBER-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm6MFYpWXtg

Is the semester over yet?

LOL

SOMETIMES YOU CAN FIND LOVE, EVEN IF YOU DON'T FIND THE SIMILARITIES IN THE PICTURE. LIKE THESE HERE, BUNNY THINGS.

I Will Never Find Love

In an effort to hide this fact, I am posting this picture. It relates.

01010100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 011011

I hope you can see the similarities between Unitas's picture and mine... If not, you will never find love.

got here with nothing, leaving with this

Four months ago tonight, a feeling was all we had. it was a good one. it went both ways. there were no entanglements with other people or history or stakes. we just talked about how other blind dates usually didn't go so well. we talked about middle school and tried to guess the names of constellations we'd never really seen before.

Tonight I saw Orion shining to the east. I pointed it out and she told me the story of how he got there.

Some people have never fallen in love before, some have, and some still don't really know the difference. I haven't been in love for awhile but this time around it sure felt like it had a chance. It was in the right place but out of room; in the right key, out of tune, and I'm left with all the lines I didn't use, all the nights I had already planned, all the ways I'd later tell the story. As it stands it's not a story of a boy and girl, a game of cat and mouse, or anything else. It's just one more freight train running through Provo in the early Wednesday morning. I'd say, "Thanks, Kid," but she wouldn't get the reference. You know how it goes: you're fighting it, fighting it, fighting it, and then the lights come on and she's gone. You wonder if you ever really had the right to believe. You wonder if she ever gave it a second thought. The world wins another battle, you fall back, you're retreating, regrouping, and repeating and every time the world wins another round you don't even hear it cheer.

it's really nothing personal, you have to understand- it's always only business. it's always only almost right. someday i'll see her wearing a ring too and my mouth will be wide open, but no wider than it was tonight. usually people become more real and easy to relate to the more you get to know them; she was more the other way around. she went from being an idea to another girl to a piece in an edvard munch exhibit. fate is cruel in a thousand ways and i think that each one came across in our story.

tomorrow morning, she'll get out of bed, stretch, and go about her day smiling about the little things and miss completely all of the big ones. at some point you have to wonder if she'll just come and go still wondering what the fuss was all about, all the while trading blows and acting like she can't see the casualties mount- but I can see right through.

SIMiLING (the new confusion)

So my college has a high married student rate. So as i have been gaining experience in the college life i have learned the first thing i do when i look at a girl is shoot my eyes at the left ring finger. ( i must say i have gotten really good at that) then i judge them if they are pretty or not if they dont have a ring on. pretty much. but lately these girls have done one of two things to me well maybe three. first let me say i am generally a happy person who listens to music as he walks and laughs out loud for no apparent reason even when know one else is there walking with me to school. so its safe to say i always smile. well lately ill be walking and smiling at the same time( its not as easy as it sounds or looks(I dont know which one)) anyways i smile at these girls and guys ( i guess) and these girls think i am hitting on them like a creep. so some smile back and giggle and chat to their stupid friends others sneer and make fun and think i am extra creepy, well let me just say this if i were to like u i would do something way creepier than smile to let u know that i would evesdrop on a conversation get your name and maybe follow a bit with out you knowing get info on you then facebook stalk you and send a creepy request with an even creepier message so there u go! take that girls i smile at!